Teach Your Children Well? (San 104a)

The rabbis seem to have this weird obsession with talking about their "organ/member" to deliver a message. Must be a guy thing.

On 103b4, the gemara asks about a matter of Yehoiakim and that which was found on him (hanimtza alav). We learn that R Yochanan and R Elazar dispute the matter:

One says that it means that he tattoed the name of a pagan deity on his male organ, and one says that it means he tattoed the Name of God on his male organ. (San 103b4)

Yad Ramah suggests that this was done in the hope that his offspring would grow up as followers of paganism (103b4 footnote 40). This isn't the first time we have come across a man who makes a connection between outward signs of his male member to his future progeny. A few days ago we read:

Nevat saw fire issue from his member. He thought it meant that he would one day be king. However, it was not so. i.e. he misinterpreted the omen, for it was Yarovam who issued from him (his seed), who was indicated. (San 101b2-101b3)

As a woman I don't really know what to do with these passages. I am inclined to shake my head, laugh, and then think about what they can tell us about this particular obsession that seems to still exist today among the finest of the male gender. Our generation doesn't necessarily talk about outward signs like tattoos and fire omens to predict the future success of the male organ but I do think that most locker room conversations about size, etc derive from a psychological connection that the function of the male organ is in fact to produce children. Our generation has also taken this idea to a new level in another way. Today, our technology enables us to collect and distribute sperm donations and actually predict and control the genetic makeup of our children. I suppose it is comforting to know that these types of obsessions are rooted in our tradition. Or maybe not.

In today's daf we learn that a righteous son can earn merit for a wicked father; however a righteous father cannot earn merit for a wicked son. (104a2) It is important to acknowledge that this is all in discussion about wicked children/parents and that parents can in fact earn merit from a righteous son (Sefer Chasidim 1171 - 104a2 footnote 15).

Regardless, this passage, in perhaps a more appropriate manner than the previous two, reflects the fact that parents and future parents have a desire to mold the lives of their children in a positive manner. It also acknowledges that in the end, children grow up and develop into whoever they want to be. As a current educator and a one-day parent, I face a constant struggle between wanting to instill my core Jewish values into children I teach and also enabling them to carve their own individual path. One thing I have learned from this whole discussion is that sometimes we have to be reminded to stop obsessing over who we want our future children to be.